Black Friday
by Punzie the Platypus
Summary: It's Black Friday; Candace, Stacy, Dr. Hirano and Linda go to the Mall. The teens want to make sure that Candace gets a Christmas present for Jeremy early this year, but with the boys pumpkin chunkin with Baljeet and Buford and Perry fighting Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who has his own sales tent outside of the mall, focusing on that is kind of hard this year.
1. Heading Out

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Phineas and Ferb. I like Black Friday shopping. It's FUN. :)**

It was a dark early morning in Danville (if early morning could even cover it). It was barely three AM, and while most of the world were sleeping comfortably in their beds, there was a light on in the foyer of the Flynn-Fletcher house.

"Candace!" Linda called as loud as she dared. She was zipping up her jacket, putting on her mittens and picking up her purse, murmuring to herself, "Where could she be? Candace! The stores are opening in less than an hour!"

"Coming!" Candace, showing a surprising amount of energy, bounded down the stairs. She was already wearing boots and a jacket and mittens and a scarf around her neck. She had her purse and several pieces of paper that stuck up all about in her arms. She quickly passed a calender, which had the days of November crossed out, only leaving the day after Thanksgiving circled.

"There you are. Come on, we need to go pick up Stacy and Elizabeth," Linda said, opening the door to the cold-but-thankfully-not-snow-covered-after-Thanksgiving-morning. It was Black Friday, and the two had just gotten up from a few hours' of sleep.

Candace sped out of the house and over to the driveway. She was about to head into the car when she heard a noise that sounded like Buford. Frowning, she looked around, and then hurried to the backyard.

"They couldn't. It's too early even for _them_," Candace said to herself as she fumbled to open the gate. She managed to fling it open to reveal the backyard. In it, Phineas and Ferb, decked out in their warm jackets, mitts and hats, were busy marking things on a clipboard. Ferb, noticing the wheelbarrow, hurried over to Buford and Baljeet, who were both dressed in warm clothing as well. Baljeet was crawling on his hands away from a tipped over wheelbarrow, which Buford, grunting, was trying to turn right upside up.

"I told you to be _careful_, Buford," Baljeet said as Ferb helped him stand up before he went to help Buford. "Honestly, not all I say is academic. I have common sense too!"

"It's Mom's thanksgiving stuffing. Makes me foggy in the head," Buford explained matter-of-factly.

"Phineas, Ferb," Candace yelled (though not too loudly. Grandpa and Grandma were snoring in their house, visiting for the holiday, and she did not want the entire neighborhood after her). "WHAT are you doing! It's three in the morning!"

"Oh, good morning, Candace," Phineas said pleasantly. "We decided to start early on our project, seeing as we all fell asleep immediately after dinner and just woke up fifteen minutes ago. Baljeet and Buford just arrived a couple of minutes ago."

"And what is your little 'project', anyway?" Candace said, hurrying to him.

"We're going to go pumpkin chunkin," Phineas said casually. Candace turned to see what he was looking at and she realized that the tipped over wheelbarrow was full of pumpkins.

"Pumpkin chunkin? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?" Candace said.

Ferb, helping Buford move the wheelbarrow right side up, explained, "It's a sport in where a trebuchet is used to fling pumpkins over many dozen yards."

"It's a lot of fun, Candace," Phineas said. "Want to watch?"

"No, because at the moment _I _have better things to do for once than trying to bust you guys for using pumpkins as catapult ammunition. Mom, Stacy, Dr. Hirano and I are going Black Friday shopping, see?" Candace said, and she pushed her papers into Phineas's arms. His clipboard disappeared from sight (as did his nose) as his eyes darted about, reading what she had written.

Candace smirked to herself and folded her arms. "Stacy and I made plans over the phone last night. We have to hit the mall and the Superduper Mega Superstore."

"Looks like fun," Phineas said, his head peeking out of her papers.

"It will be," Candace said, snatching her papers. "So I don't want your little THING or whatever it is to interfere with my shopping!"

"Sure thing, Candace," Phineas said with a smile.

"Okay then," Candace said.

"Candace. You need to get into the car, NOW!" Linda yelled from the car as she started it up.

"Coming!" Candace said, and she was about to leave the yard when she heard Phineas say to Ferb, "We're going to need to start on the trebuchet. We're going to need a few dozen yards of wood, six dozen screws, and a tub of wasabi."

Candace groaned to herself. Wood, screws AND wasabi? It sounded like something wonderful to bust. A trebuchet. . .

"Candace, get a hold of yourself," she said angrily to herself. "Shopping. Focus on shopping and getting Jeremy's Christmas present _early _this year." She sighed in contentment, and walked, her eyes closed, to the backseat where Stacy would join her. She buckled herself in with a smile. Linda looked at her strangely (though Candace couldn't see her), and said, "I worry about you, Candace."

* * *

Back at the backyard, Phineas and Ferb were filling the place with the sound of hammering. The wheelbarrow was right side up, and Baljeet was sitting on top of a very tall pile of pumpkins.

"Man, just the sight of these things makes me hungry," Buford said, leaning against the wheelbarrow.

"You just ate the biggest meal of the year on the biggest food filled holiday of the year! How can you possibly be hungry?" Baljeet said, incredulous.

Buford shrugged. "It's been more than two hours, so I need a snack. Wonder if you can eat pumpkin raw . . ."

"Oh, Buford," Baljeet said, nearly face-palming himself.

The noise of the hammering brought Lawrence out of his bed. He opened a window on the second story of the house and stuck out his head, yawning as he rubbed his eyes.

"Ah, starting out today early, I see," he said, making Phineas and Ferb look up at him. "What are you all working on today?"

"We're making a trebuchet so we can go pumpkin chunkin," Phineas explained. "Though, we need to get to a field."

"Really? Sounds absolutely fascinating. You know, Grandpa and Grandma aren't going to be up for a few hours (you know how they are). Mind if I hitch up Grandpa's old pickup and drive you out?"

"Sounds good, Dad," Phineas said.

Lawrence nodded, saying, "All right, I'll be done in a tisk, lads," and the window closed with a slight _thump_!

"Looks like we got ourselves a ride, Ferb," Phineas said. He shrugged, though, and said, "We could have used the remote control transporter to take us there, though." He looked about and said, his breath turning into dragon's breath in the chilly air, "Hey, where's Perry?"

* * *

Perry was sleeping, relatively undeterred, on Ferb's bed. He had opened one listless eye when the boys had gotten dressed and moved out of the bedroom, and then had fallen back asleep, his head cradled in his arms.

He was having a very nice sleep after having a busy day defeating Doofenshmirtz, and was very annoyed when suddenly he felt himself going down a fast tube. He yawned, opening his eyes to see himself passing whitish-blue walls. He pulled out his fedora, and yawned again as he crossed his arms and landed on his feet. Opening the tunnel door, he walked into headquarters. The lights were out, though, but Perry didn't feel surprised. Out of habit, in the dark, he walked to his chair. Unfortunately, it was spun the other way, and he walked into the back of it.

Turning it, he took his seat, rubbing his sore bill, and turned. He pressed a button, causing the giant screen to light up in front of him.

On the screen was a white wall, making Perry squint. He could hear, "Carl, is that coffee ready yet?"

"Almost, sir."

"Good. See, this is the thing about Thanksgiving. Messes up my entire sleeping schedule."

_Ding!_

"Coffee's ready, sir. How do you take it?"

"Black with six sugars, and hurry up, Carl! You don't have to add the packets one by one!"

"There you go, sir."

"About time," and Major Monogram appeared on the screen. He was wearing his suit, but was unshaven, and his hair was disheveled. In his hand was a steaming cup of coffee.

"Morning, Agent P," he said, making Perry wearily, but automatically, salute the major. "Sorry, long day at the in-laws. They have three cats and her mother knows that I'm allergic. Anyway, back to work, I guess. Evil never rests, especially on a national holiday. Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been spotted outside of Googleplex Mall with a table full of junk and stuff." A picture appeared in the corner of the screen, revealing Doof doing exactly what the major had just said.

"We haven't been able to determine what he's been selling, but we can only summarize that it has something to do with Black Friday. It's more than likely evil, considering that it's freezing and there's no real reason to go and set up a table on Black Friday without a worthwhile intention. There on the table next to you is one of our own inators." Perry turned and noticed a gun that looked like a water pistol. "It's sort of a prototype, but Carl just finished it, and you'll probably need it. Go, and find out what he's doing, Agent P, and be careful. Those shoppers waiting for the mall to open are vicious! Don't get trampled!"

Perry nodded and he hurried to his little hover car. Major Monogram watched him leave before he said, turning to Carl, "Carl, start up the car! I have a Christmas list that I need to get finished!"

* * *

Candace giggled to herself as Linda drove them through the dark night to the Hiranos'. They stopped in front of the Hiranos' house. The lights of the porch were on, shining bright in the darkness. Stacy gave Candace a wave from the porch as Dr. Hirano, dressed in regular clothes and the appropriate outerwear, locked the door. Candace opened the car door and let Stacy into the backseat as Dr. Hirano greeted Linda.

"It's finally the day!" Candace said excitedly as the car started moving.

"Gosh, I know, right? Have everything?" Stacy asked.

"Purse, wallet, phone, candy, lipstick. Yep, everything," Candace said.

"What about the papers? The plan? If you don't have that, you're screwed."

"Oh, Stacy of little faith," Candace said, holding up her papers.

"Hey, just making sure. Remember the last couple times we've gone shopping for a present for Jeremy?"

"Yeah, that's true."

"Seriously, last Christmas was sort of disastrous. We don't want to have a déjà vu experience later on, do we?" Stacy asked as they cruised through downtown.

"No, no we don't."

"So what shops are we hitting?" Stacy said, readjusting her purple scarf.

"The shoe shop, jewelry store, food court, the sports store and the music store," Candace said. "And at Podmore's, all the clothes: five dollars or less!"

"Sounds like an awesome deal if you ask me, Miss Flynn!" Stacy said excitedly.

Candace nodded excitedly. "I just hope that at least one of those stores has what he wants."

"Which is? Come on, you need to remember, to _focus _on what to get Jeremy. If there's _one _thing you're getting today, it's Jeremy's Christmas present. Of course, if you bought mine, it would also count as a victory."

"Why can't anyone stop telling me to stay focused? Don't I look focused, Stacy?" Candace said.

Stacy frowned and admitted, "Well, you're not freaking out at all."

"See, perfectly fine!"

Stacy smirked as she leaned forward and said, "And what are your brothers doing?"

"Well, they're building something called a trebuchet and going pumpkin chunkin, BUT I am ignoring that and am staying _focused_," Candace said, sweeping her hands in front of her and bringing them into a praying position. "Completely focused."

"Yeah, like that'll last. Imagine how many pumpkins they were able to get. Imagine how quickly they were able to build their whatchamacallit."

"_Trebuchet._"

"Ha, see!"

"Focusing, Stacy, focusing," Candace said, putting her fingers in her ears as they drove into the Googleplex mall parking lot.

"Good luck with that," Stacy said as they began to move around the many cars. "How are we even going to find a parking space?"

"This is going to be a problem," Linda said as she moved the car about. The entire parking lot, despite it being so early, was lit up and filled to bursting with cars and loud, annoyed, ready-to-shop-shoppers.

It was so crowded that none of the Flynn-Fletchers or Hiranos noticed Perry the Platypus's hover car slowly descend behind a large tent.

_Doofenshmirtz Evil Black Friday Tent!_

The tent was purple and had long, black poles. The top was canvas and had Doof's name on it. Perry slipped out of his hover car and adjusting his fedora, slipping around the tables that were making a large square in the tent. Peeking over one, he noticed that they were covered with several different items, all packaged in plastic and all suspiciously looking like things from infomercials.

He looked up when he heard, "Come on, come see what I'm selling! Oh come on, the mall's not even open yet! Geez." Perry bent down when he saw Doofenshmirtz turn, dressed in a coat with ear muffs, and say, "Now where did I put my coffee?"

That's when Perry somersaulted in front of his nemesis, ending up in a graceful stance, looking annoyed at the doctor.

"Oh, Perry the Platypus, good morning. Or night. I can't tell. It's too early," Doofenshmirtz said as he grabbed his thermos. He turned around and said, "BUT, even though I cannot properly greet you, I CAN trap you!" And he pushed a button on his thermos, and a metal box fell onto Perry the Platypus, and even though he tried to push it off and around him, it didn't budge, even when he shook on the little straps of metal that made it like a basket.

"You wonder what you're trapped in, Perry the Platypus? It's a Pet Catcher. When your pet is walking around the house at night, put this on a table or whatever and when it detects heat, it'll fall onto the floor, catching it. Quite clever, though why don't they just call it a trap? I dunno."

Perry shook his cage, looking indignantly at Doofenshmirtz, who sighed and continued, "Anyway, I don't need it, because well, you know," and he walked around, and slowly nodded. "Though, I might actually keep this one. It'll help when you're creeping around my apartment at night. But I bet you're wondering, 'Doof, what are you doing? What's with all this stuff that you got off of infomercials?' Well, let me explain."

Perry sighed and leaned with one elbow against the metal basket as Doofenshmirtz glanced over his shoulder, calling, "Brand new stuff! Come and buy it!" He turned. "Remember that time when I built that inator to store all of my stuff I bought off of infomercials? It went and got destroyed, _obviously_, and I still had a lot of stuff. So it dawned on me: Was there a way to sell this stuff AND rule over the Tri-State area? Yes! And I! Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz! Have figured out the way!"

Perry folded his arms and looked unimpressed. Doof frowned and said, "Oh, you doubt me once again, Perry the Platypus? Well, I'll wipe that look off your face!" He put down his coffee and amongst his merchandise, he found a device that looked like a water gun. Doofenshmirtz looked to Perry, who rolled his eyes. "Oh, Perry the Platypus, don't give me that! This is a very deadly inator! Behold!" (He held out the gun.) "I give you . . . the Buyer Beware-inator! You see, I've gone and shot all of my merchandise before I put it out. Every time someone buys something and opens it, they become a mindless minion, and believe me to be their leader! See! It's a brilliant plan!"

Doofenshmirtz folded his arms and leaned against one of the tables. "Yeah, you wish you had thought of this plan. Only _I_, an evil _genius_, could think of such a brilliant plan!"

Perry shook his head. One downfall to his plan. There was _absolutely_ _nobody_ buying his stuff.

**THANKSGIVING IN A WEEK. YES. Thank you for reading! **


	2. Look At All The Shopping I Give

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT Phineas and Ferb. Thank you all for the response! ONLY THREE MORE DAYS.  
**

Meanwhile, the sky was turning ever-so-slightly lighter as Lawrence drove Grandpa and Grandma Flynn's pickup. Ferb and Phineas were up front while Buford and Baljeet were squeezed in the back.

"Oh, Buford, TRY to move over. I can smell your breath!" Baljeet said, shirking against the wall.

"I naturally take up a lot of space. Besides, I can beat you up, so I suggest that you move over and give the person with the bigger bones more room," Buford said, looking annoyed at Baljeet.

Baljeet sighed, looking out the window before he looked up front and said, "Phineas, how much longer?"

"Well," Phineas said, watching as Ferb shined a flashlight out, "I think the field is coming up soon."

"Oh, here we are, boys," Lawrence said as he turned the pickup. They started down a dirt road, passing a sign that said, 'Picklins' Field' which had a SOLD sticker on it.

"It's so convenient that Father went on a field buying spree after he finished with stars," Ferb said.

"You could say that again, Ferb," Phineas said.

Ferb looked to Phineas and said, "You know that I don't mince words."

"Yeah, sorry, bro," Phineas said as they parked beneath a tall street lamp.

"All right, boys, out of the car," Lawrence said as they followed orders. He rubbed his hands together to keep warm and to also contain his excitement, "We've got a trebuchet to set up!"

* * *

Meanwhile, at the mall, Stacy, Dr. Hirano, Candace and Linda had found a parking space and were walking to the entrance of the mall, which, while the doors were closed, had an entire crowd of shoppers, all chilly and excited, waiting outside of it.

"Goodness, that's a lot of people," Linda said as they passed a tent of sorts. "Let's just hope none of us get trampled."

"Hope not. It would definitely put a dent in our plan of getting Jeremy a Christmas present, right, Candace?" Stacy said, and she turned to see her best friend looking off into the distance, looking annoyed at something. "Candace!" Stacy pulled her back and looking her straight in the face, said, "I recall we talked about FOCUSING."

"Ugh, sorry, Stacy," Candace said. She frowned. "I just know my brothers are-"

"Candace, FOCUS! I swear, we have to go over this like twice in two minutes," Stacy said.

Candace took a deep breath. "Right, focus! I will stay focused, Stacy!"

Stacy smiled, and putting an arm around Candace's shoulders, walked them toward the doors of the mall, saying, "You just keep telling yourself that."

* * *

"Ah, done!" Doofenshmirtz said, and he held up a big sign that said, 'Cheap Christmas Gifts! Absolutely safe!' Perry eyed it, shaking his head, and Doofenshmirtz's head came popping out from behind it, and said, "Don't judge me, Perry the Platypus. It's called advertising!"

Doof held up the sign, turning away from Perry, and started hawking his wares. Perry looked around. So far (since he had come around), nobody had bothered to buy anything from Doofenshmirtz, seeing as it was packaged infomercial stuff that nobody but Doofenshmirtz had the nerve to buy. Though he wasn't terribly worried, he had to stop the doctor's plan, for he wanted to go to sleep that night. It was just a matter of getting out of the unmovable cage.

* * *

"Oh boys, this is looking brilliant!" Lawrence said as he and Ferb stood back from the trebuchet. Ferb wiped at his brow and nodded.

Phineas nodded as well, "Sure looks great, Dad." He turned to a device that looked almost like a GPS and a phone he held in his hand and said, "I've been scanning, and there's no one around here to get hit."

"Oh brilliant, wonderful, Phin, always be safe rather than sorry," Lawrence said. "Got the measuring thing?"

"Yep," Phineas said, holding out a piece of wood that looked like gum. He began to unfold it, and it grew longer and longer and longer, and in the flash- and lantern light, the marks of the inches became distinct. He put it down and adjusting it just so, said, "It measures on for two miles."

"Fantastic," Lawrence said.

Phineas nodded and turning, called, "Hey, Baljeet, Buford, we're ready for the pumpkins!"

"Coming!" Baljeet said from the top of the wheelbarrow. Buford was slowly pushing the wheelbarrow along, and Baljeet frowned and looking down from the top of the pumpkins, said, "Can you move a LITTLE faster?"

"Hey, who's the one toting a barrow full of vegetables with a pimply nerd on it?" Buford said, looking up, annoyed.

Baljeet turned away and shook his head.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Buford brought the wheelbarrow to the trebuchet's side. "So I suggest you stop complaining unless you want to switch places."

"All right, all right," Baljeet said as he slid and then jumped off of the pumpkins. The five of them started to unload pumpkins, Phineas and Ferb placing one of the pumpkins into the sling. They climbed off of the trebuchet and Lawrence, looking around to see if any of them had wandered off, said, "Ready, boys?"

"Ready," they all said (except for Ferb).

"All right," Lawrence said, "fire!" And Ferb started off the trebuchet, which pulled back and threw the pumpkin, causing it to sail through the air and land with a sort of squishy noise some distance away.

"Let's go find it, boys!" Lawrence said, and Baljeet hurried out of Buford's way, who was hurrying ahead. Ferb looked about and Phineas said, "A flashlight might help, though."

"Well, yes," said Lawrence.

Phineas brought one out of his pockets and said, "Come on, Dad, Ferb."

The three of them walked through the yellow grass of the field, using Phineas's flashlight to spy the pumpkin and Buford and Baljeet, who was letting out annoyed shouts. "Buford, stop walking into me on purpose!"

"Buford wasn't - OH, Buford found the pumpkin! Buford found it!" Buford called out excitedly, and Phineas caught Buford in his beam of light. Buford let out a hiss, shielding his eyes as the Flynn-Fletchers came to the pumpkin. It was literally squashed into the ground, and Baljeet skipped over to the ruler.

"Golly!" Phineas said excitedly, kneeling by the smashed vegetable.

"My goodness, what a distance," Lawrence said. "Well done, boys."

"What's the distance, Baljeet?"

"Oh, we are at eighty - no - yes, seven hundred feet, six inches."

"We should probably take the truck to check on the pumpkins unless we want to walk several miles this morning," Phineas said, standing up. Ferb marked the pumpkin with a piece of wood marked '1' and Lawrence nodded.

"Let's go back, boys. We've got a lot of pumpkins to chunk!" Lawrence said, and they all hurried to follow Phineas with the flashlight. "I say, I do enjoy you Americans' crazy fall traditions."

* * *

"Ugh, we're never going to get into the mall!" Candace said. She and Stacy were about two dozen people down from the entrance. She cupped her hands together and said, "WHEN ARE THE DOORS OPENING!"

Several others added their complaints, and a security guard inside of the building said, "It opens at four!"

"That's five more minutes!"

"I can't wait five more minutes!"

"I've already lost two toes in this weather!"

The security guard winced and said as he walked away, "Glad I'm not out there."

Candace frowned and folded her arms. "Let's just hope they open soon or there's going to be an angry mob out here."

"Yeah, that'd be bad," Stacy said, and she looked around and caught sight of a tent, with a sign attached to it, saying, 'Cheap Christmas Gifts! Absolutely safe!' She quickly turned to Candace and tugging on her sleeve, said, "Hey, how about we head over to that place?"

"Huh?" asked Candace, turning and noticing the sign.

"See, there's nobody there, which is kind of weird, but yeah, let's go," Stacy said.

Candace shrugged and said, "Might as well."

* * *

Doofenshmirtz was finishing up his coffee, still calling out, "Hey, fresh, tasty Christmas presents! Cheap!" People ignored him. "Come on!"

Perry shook his head, and that was when he caught sight of two pairs of shoes he knew well. Slipper-like and white ones. Why, oh why were Candace and Stacy here? They were going to buy stuff. He knew it. He needed to get out and stop Doof from selling any of the gullible girls anything.

He heard Doofenshmirtz say, "Oh, hello there!" and he immediately ducked and pulled off his hat. It was a bit like Mary Poppins's carpet bag, or a TARDIS, or a magician's top hat, and he reached a paw in and biting his tongue, rummaged around. He winced when he caught his fingers on something, and tried to ignore the sounds of them talking behind him.

"Hey, we're looking for something your average teenage boy would like," Stacy said. "You know, without being weird or gross or completely off of the occasion."

"But relatively cheap, too," Candace said as Doofenshmirtz turned to his merchandise.

"Yeah, that too," Stacy added as she leaned forward.

"Well," Doofenshmirtz said, searching around his items. He picked one up and turning to Stacy and Candace, said, "How's this?"

He set down a grandfather clock that was about two feet tall. He managed to swing the pendulum despite it being wrapped in plastic and said, "Instead of ding-donging when an hour's passed, it plays your favorite song. For example," he wound up the clock and it started to sing, "My name is Doof and you'll do what I say, WOOT WOOT."

Candace and Stacy exchanged looks as it repeated the song and Candace said, "Yeah, no."

Perry let out a breath at that and started to sweat, despite the cold, as Doofenshmirtz offered many other different things to the girls, which they didn't buy. His paw finally found what he needed, and he pulled it up and slapped his hat back on. It was a small container of corrosive acid. It'd work.

"You know what, I think the mall's almost finished with whatever they're doing in there and is going to open, so, thanks but NO thanks," Candace said. She grabbed Stacy's arm and said with dragon's breath, "Come on, Stacy."

"We tried," Stacy said as Candace pulled her away.

"Wait, wait, come back! Come on, I'll throw in the apple grater for free! Please! Ugh!" Doofenshmirtz wiped his face with his hands and turned to Perry. His hands slipped away and his eyes widened as Perry looked up, having been pouring drops of acid at the bottom of the bars.

"Perry the Platypus, really? With my back turned and dealing with customers and everything? Really, Perry," Doofenshmirtz said.

Perry didn't really care what he thought of him, and he put away his container of acid and sitting against one end of the box, pushed at the bars with his feet.

"Why do you even try? Those bars are guaranteed to stay locked onto the floors," Doofenshmirtz said. He sighed and said, "Well, I guess I'll try to sell more, though it's not really working. Maybe I should invent a Make-People-Buy-Stuff-inator. You know, I really should. I'm always selling stuff, you should check me up online-"

That was when he was punched in his back. He had failed miserably at being a villain, where you must always have an eye on your nemesis, even if they're caged up in something you bought off of the TV. _Especially_ then.

Perry's bill started to jab at his neck as Doofenshmirtz let out a yell.

"Ouch, Perry the Platypus! How is your bill so sharp! What do you do to it in the mornings? Ouch, stop it!"

* * *

Meanwhile, at the front of the mall, the security guard gulped and whispered to himself, "I hate Black Friday," and unlocked the doors. He was promptly knocked about, and he had to hold onto a potted plant to avoid getting knocked over by the large crowd. They all hurried in, flooding to the stores. The store owners gulped and immediately unlocked their doors before they raced behind their cashier's desks.

Linda, Dr. Hirano, Stacy and Candace were standing with their backs to everyone as others rushed past them.

"All right, we meet back here in two hours, okay?" Linda said. Stacy and Candace nodded and Linda turned to Dr. Hirano and said, "Come on, Elizabeth. I've got a desk with my name on it."

The two moms walked away and Candace let out a loud squeal as she turned to Stacy and said, "What first?"

"Okay, okay, we need to get Jeremy something, first thing. No exceptions, right?"

Candace nodded and said seriously, "Right, no exceptions!"

"All right, first we're going to the sports store by the food court, BUT, their schedule is weird and they _may_ or _may not_ open at five. If we don't find anything there, we're heading to the music store," Stacy said, and she looked up to see Candace at a store's window. She sighed and headed over to the window.

"Candace-"

"Shoes," Candace said.

"WAIT, SHOES?"

Ten minutes later, they came out with two large shopping bags. "Okay, NOW, we head to the sports store-" Stacy said.

"Wait, Tiny Cowboy EXCLUSIVE?" Candace said, and she darted to the music store.

"Yeah, music store can work too," Stacy said as she rushed after Candace.

Upon entering the store (which was stuffed with teenage girls and teenage boys who were dressed sluggishly), Candace squeed and immediately hurried over to the setup of the Tiny Cowboy CDs.

"Wait, THREE NEW SONGS? Why haven't I heard of this before?" Candace said excitedly as she grabbed one and hugged it to herself.

"What are they called? Wait, Candace!" Stacy said, breaking out of her music induced stupor. She turned to Candace and grabbing her shoulders, her bag hanging on her elbow, said sternly, "Focus. Jeremy only tolerates Tiny Cowboy for your sake. We can get him a CD, but it has to be something HE likes."

"But . . . Tiny Cowboy . . ."

"You can buy it, but we have to get something for Jeremy too, FYI."

"Yeah," Candace sighed. It was just a matter of _finding something_.

**Thank you all for reading! :) **


	3. The Ultimate Finale!

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Phineas and Ferb. Oh, and a trebuchet is like a catapult, and to mince words is to say unnecessary words. Happy Thanksgiving, y'all! Please enjoy this last chapter!**

"Perry the Platypus, stop it!" Doofenshmirtz said. The two of them were still fighting in their small arena of four tables, and all the attention from the crowd they got were a few odd stares.

Doofenshmirtz managed to grab his thermos, and hitting Perry on a sensitive part of his bill, the platypus let go and grabbed his bill. Doofenshmirtz ha-haed and breathing heavily, looked around, saying, "Now, Perry the Platypus, face the wrath of my-" He grabbed a device from the tables and Perry looked up to see a sort of fork-knife hybrid.

"It's a fofe! It-it never really caught on with the company, I guess," Doofenshmirtz said, scratching the back of his neck. "See, people cut themselves with the sharpened tines of the fork - but like I care about a failing company-"

Perry whipped out of the way as Doofenshmirtz hurried forward, saying, "Hold still, Perry the Platypus! Seriously, stop moving!"

Perry ignored him and looked around for something to fight with. He grabbed a long yard stick that had an extra foot on it. He held it like a sword and went against Doofenshmirtz, who said, "Ahh, went for the 3 foot + 12 inch Yard Stick. Interesting choice, Perry the Platypus, but your lamely named weapon is no match against my fofe!" (Perry looked a little amused at that.)

* * *

Another pumpkin flew through the air from the trebuchet. Lawrence put a hand up at his forehead (it was nearly six o'clock now). "Goodness, how long did that go?"

"Much farther than the rest," Phineas said. He looked to Ferb and said, "You think it cleared the field?"

The British boy shrugged.

"Want to go see if we hit anyone?" Buford asked.

"Buford," Baljeet said, frowning, "you sound so excited."

"I am. There's this evil bunny that lives in the park. It looks at me funny every time I go in there. I hope it got hit," Buford said.

"That's horrible! Why would you wish for a lovely little bunny to be hit by a giant vegetable?" Baljeet asked as they all hurried to the pickup.

"It's not lovely and little. IT'S EVIL," Buford informed Baljeet as they buckled themselves in.

"Sure, Buford. Sure it is," Baljeet said as Lawrence started the car and Ferb pulled out a map and GPS and Phineas's device.

* * *

"Come on, there's got to be something! All of these CDs are on sale, and none he likes! Why does the world hate me?" Candace asked. She and Stacy were at one of the many CD racks, and were poring over it. They flipped through them, stacks of them, and a bin that was right next to the rack.

Stacy had her face stuck down in the bin of assorted CDs. "I dunno. OHHHH, this looks interesting!"

"Really?" asked Candace as Stacy brought her head out.

"'Gingers and Tears.' I NEED this," Stacy said excitedly.

"And you're the one who was trying to make ME focus," Candace said dryly before turning back to the CD rack. She bit her lip and rummaging through more and more, she finally held up one. "Hey, Stacy, I think I found one!"

Stacy looked over and looking generally interested, asked, "Who's it by?"

"It's by Lee Turner, and it's called, 'Lonely Days.' Acoustic. Jeremy likes acoustic!" Candace said excitedly.

Stacy looked at the song list and nodded, "High five, sister!" They high fived and Stacy added, "All right, now, to the cash register, NOW."

"Okay, okay, don't be so pushy," Candace said as Stacy put her hands on Candace's shoulders and started to hurry her forward.

* * *

"Ha, Perry the Platypus, you shall never defeat me! Not today! Not on a national shopping day!" Doofenshmirtz said excitedly.

Perry ignored his stupid comments and his weapon went under and caused Doofenshmirtz to trip over his own feet, landing soundly on his bottom. Perry swiped the fofe out of Doof's hands and held both weapons at his neck, silently breathing heavily.

"Ouch, Perry the Platypus, that was unnecessary!" Doofenshmirtz said.

That was when the sound of an impending falling object came on both of their radar screens, and Perry backed away as a large orange object came tearing through the purple canvas and landed squarely on Doofenshmirtz, drenching him in bits of the carcass of a large pumpkin.

"Ew!" Doofenshmirtz said, waving his hands up and down in disgust as tendrils of pumpkin slid off of him. "Seriously, this is slimy and I think I got some in my ear."

Perry ignored him and pulled out the special gun that Major Monogram had given him. He flipped it to 'Good'.

"Wait, what is that? Kinda looks similar to mine - wait, why are you shooting my stuff!" Doofenshmirtz looked indignant as he tried to stand up, but the sticky substance pulled him down and kept him from stopping Perry, who promptly finished shooting all of the merchandise and slid under one of the tables, out of sight.

"Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz said, stretching and shaking a fist in the air as much as he could.

* * *

"Any sort of thing could happen at this moment to compromise the purchase of Jeremy's Christmas present," Stacy said, watching fearfully. She was next to the cashier's desk, and having already purchased her own CD, was commentating from the sidelines as Candace, biting her tongue, rummaged through her wallet for her dollar bills.

Stacy leaned forward, still saying, "She could have left her savings at home. The CD could accidentally crack. The receipt might print wrong. The tired and weary minimum wage paid teenager might push the wrong button on the cash register-"

"Do you mind?" the minimum wage paid teenager said irritably as he bagged Candace's purchases.

"No, no I don't," Stacy said as Candace handed over a bill. The cashier snatched the receipt from the printer, stuck it in the bag and handed it to Candace with her change and, "Happy holidays."

"Little early for that," Candace said as she and Stacy strolled out of the music store. Once outside, Stacy managed to make a fist pump in the giant crowd and turning to Candace, said, "All right, now we just have to get it into the car without much trouble."

"Cool. What time is it, anyway?" Candace asked.

Stacy checked her cellphone and said in a scared voice, "How long did we stay in that music store?"

"What?" Candace said, looking at the cellphone, her eyes widening. "I'd say that Mom's going to be mad at us for being ten minutes late."

"Let's run."

"Yes, let's."

* * *

Somehow, Ferb had managed to track down the flung pumpkin to being in front of the Googleplex mall. Lawrence pulled up the pickup in front of the mall, and Phineas, Ferb, Buford, and Baljeet piled out. Ferb led the way to the pumpkin, Lawrence cupping his hands together at his mouth to call as he stood next to the pickup, "Found it, boys?"

"Yep," Phineas said as he ducked under the tables.

"Hey, what are you kids doing here?" Doofenshmirtz grumbled. He had managed to finally stand up and was wiping himself down with an infomercial super towel.

"Finding our pumpkin," Phineas said, kneeling at the remnants.

"Hey, since you're here wanna buy a fofe?" Doofenshmirtz asked excitedly.

"A what?" Baljeet asked.

"A fofe. A combination of fork and knife!"

"I'm intrigued," Buford said thoughtfully.

"What's the mileage, boys?" Lawrence called as the doors to the mall opened, letting out a slightly annoyed Linda and Elizabeth, both loaded down with bags and a large, long cart. Candace and Stacy were right behind them; Stacy looked ahead and told Candace were to walk while Candace kept both of her eyes wide open on the bag she had in her hands.

Ferb held up the number with his fingers, and Phineas called back, "Point eight seven miles, Dad!"

"Golly, that is impressive," Lawrence said. He smiled as Linda and Elizabeth came up to the pickup. "Hello, darling."

"Well, good thing you brought the pickup. Didn't know where I'd put the new desk and bookshelf."

"Well, let me load those up for you, right, love?" Lawrence said as he started to pick up the flat packages.

"Thanks, Lawrence," Linda said. "Hey, want to go to the Superduper Mega Superstore with us?"

"Well, your parents aren't getting up for hours. Don't see why not, the trebuchet's fine sitting in the field," Lawrence said, grunting as he slid it into the pickup.

"Trebuchet?" Linda asked with a smirk.

"Nothing, dear," Lawrence said lightly.

Linda nodded and she and Dr. Hirano turned to see Candace and Stacy nearly at the pickup.

"Right, careful. Fragile, please move, everyone," Stacy said. She turned and opened the backseat's door and stepped inside backward. "C'mon, Candace!"

"Stop it, Stacy!" Candace said in a little voice. "It's getting to be too much pressure!"

"Don't you dare do something you'll regret, Candace Flynn!" Stacy said quickly as Candace carefully stepped up into the pickup.

"Stacy! Stop it!" Candace said as she sat down and buckled in your seat belt.

"Candace-"

"What?"

"You did it!"

"I-I did, didn't I?" Candace said excitedly. She almost clapped her hands but Stacy quickly said, "Don't push it."

Just then Phineas, Ferb, Baljeet and Buford, holding a new fofe, walked over to the pickup truck.

"Hey, boys. Want to go to the Superduper Mega Superstore with us?" Linda asked.

"Oh, yes! Ferb," Phineas said, turning excitedly to his stepbrother, "I know what we should make tomorrow. We should make a model of that chair at the Superduper Mega Superstore. Seriously!"

"I'll go bring the other car around, then," Linda said with a smile, and just then, Perry, chattering, walked to his owners out of the sidelines, looking as dumb as usual.

"Oh, there you are, Perry," Phineas said, stooping to pet his platypus. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

Perry only chattered further, and Phineas shrugged and picked up Perry and nonchalantly followed the rest of their party to the cars to go Black Friday shopping. It was dark, and the sounds of the mall disappeared behind them as they drove off into the sunrise.

**Thank you for reading and Happy Thanksgiving! :)**


End file.
